I did not need more trouble with the law. Try to look innocent, I told him as I rolled down the window. He sniffed my ear and then looked down into my lap, no doubt hoping I’d dropped something he could eat. Ma’am, could you roll down your window? The shield on his coat was hard to miss.Ĭhaucer lifted his massive head, slowly coming to his paws, needing to hunch in order to fit. I watched it pool in my lap before fumbling with the can. The tap of the cop’s flashlight on the driver’s-side window, combined with a soft woof from the back seat, made me jump and splash grape soda down my sweater. It’s usually later, after being confronted with photographic evidence in the form of a mug shot, that you realize you lost your shit in a truly spectacular way. YOU DON’T ALWAYS know when you’re having a nervous breakdown.
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